Dear Book Buyer:

No, we do not have a book that explains if you'll need to wear a hospital gown when you visit the infectious disease specialist.

Dear Book Buyer:

Though astronomy and science fiction do share common themes, they are in fact two separate subjects.

Dear Book Buyer:

Yes, even if you're calling a local number, you still have to pay in order to make a call. It's a payphone.

Dear Book Buyer:

I'm sorry you're disappointed with our selection of essential oils. We are, however, a book store.

Dear Book Buyer:

Thank you for pointing out to me that the book title "Focus on Canada" makes you think "Fuck ass on Canada."

Dear Book Buyer:

No, Thesaurus is not a brand-name of dictionary. A thesaurus and a dictionary are two different things.

Dear Book Buyer:

It's a trilogy, not a triology.

Dear Book Buyer:

No, I do not think all of the new release pocket books were written by Artificial Intelligence.

Dear Book Buyer:

When I am helping you find a book, and Carole King happens to be playing on the sound system, please refrain from singing along in an off-key falsetto.