Dear Book Buyer:

If you're going to choose the urinal right next to mine, please refrain from singing "Jesus is my saviour" in a very troll-esque voice.

Dear Book Buyer:

Please trust me on this one, there was no famous Canadian art collective called The Lucky Seven.

Dear Book Buyer:

Yes, I work here. That's why I'm wearing a name tag and a vest bearing the name of the bookstore.

Dear Book Buyer:

No, I do not have any art books about a painter named Mural. I do however have art books on murals.

Dear Book Buyer:

Cute guy walks into the bookstore: mild curiosity.

Cute guy asks where the Cultural Studies section is: arousal increasing.

Cute guy asks for Neil Strauss' The Game: boner kill.

Cute guy actually shells out cash for this "book": priceless.

Dear Book Buyer:

You'd think that someone looking for a self-help-Oprah-new-age book would be a bit more pleasant. Sorry I asked you to repeat the author's name. I simply misheard you, so I don't know why you're acting like I defecated on your pillow.

Dear White Girl:

Thanks for demonstrating your fake Indian accent. Your cultural witticisms are astoundingly insightful.