Dear Book Buyer:

Sorry, we can't hire you at the book store. Bringing up necrophilia & bestiality during a group job interview is a bit of a deal-breaker.

Dear Book Buyer:

Yes, the basement is downstairs. Do you come from a topsy-turvy land where everything is upside down and inside out?

Dear Book Buyer:

I know Christmas is a time of giving, but just leaving your used adult diaper out on the bathroom counter isn't that great of a gift.

Dear Book Buyer:

Jesus is a busy guy. Don't thank him out loud for helping you find the coffee shop, & don't ask for his guidance to locate the magazines.

Dear Book Buyer:

Usually when people call the book store, they want to know store hours, and not the correct spelling of "conundrum."

Dear Book Buyer:

Just because the author's last name is Gladwell doesn't mean his work is in the self-help section.